Insane Sanitation is a pandemic facing the nation
The effects of Swine Flu have been sweeping the world, and I’m not talking about the unfortunate deaths (which, at printing, are in the 60s).
No, in our 24-hour news cycle, Swine Flu may have been renamed the less sinister “Influenza A H1N1,” but the hysteria over the bacteria plagues new hosts every day.
And all I got was this lousy diploma
Colleges and universities around the country have altered graduation ceremonies because the flu scare. Some are foregoing the time-honored tradition of shaking hands upon receipt of one’s diploma.
I was at Mott Community College’s graduation, and they tried to make the precaution seem like a valuable time to learn other congratulatory cultural norms. Students were encouraged to tip their hats, bow, or as a nod to the especially groovy members of the staff, make the peace sign.
While perhaps an unfortuate over precaution, at least it was handled with humor. What could not be laughed at were the gallon jug-sized pumping stations of hand sanitizer placed every 10 feet around the arena. I used to consider myself somewhat of an obsessive compulsive germaphobe, and even I thought this was a bit much. I can’t imagine how we survived cold and flu seasons in the past without the opportunity to sanitize every 20 steps.
Some colleges and universities have even postponed their graduation ceremonies, while others have decided on separate ceremonies for students who have recently been to Mexico. That was the case at Pennsylvania’s Slippery Rock University. Sort of ironic that administrators at a university named Slippery Rock are being so careful.
Take this all of you and drink it
With swine flu hysteria everywhere, I couldn’t help but bring it to church with me on Sunday. If someone at a graduation couldn’t shake hands, what about shaking hands at church? Not to mention, sharing a drink from the common cup.
A Los Angeles Times article from 2005 quotes a New Jersey microbiologist who said that drinking from the common cup was no riskier than waiting in line at the movies. Even Canadians, known for their advanced health care systems, found in a study done in 2000 that sipping from the same chalice carried probably less risk than air-borne diseases.
Be that as it may, churches in Mexico have shut down during the outbreak, and churches in Texas have cautioned parishoners about drinking from the cup and extending their hands in the greeting of peace if they exhibit any flu symptoms.
Whew! That seems reasonable. Don’t endanger other people if you are sick. In all this hysteria, finally something that makes sense. No need to stop normal activities or dwell on the relatively small spread of this strain of flu. Simply wash your hands before touching your face, and stay home if you are sick.
That’s too boring for the news. Now flying pigs with the flu — that will hold our attention until Britney Spears does something crazy again.
Ah, germophobia… My favorite addition to American culture is the overuse of anti-bacterial handsoap. People these days seem to love to line the pockets of the soap manufacturers all while making drug-resistant super bugs out of badies that used to only small roadblocks to a healthy immune system. The truth is that in a house that uses (*gasp!) only ye olde timey regular soaps, I rarely find myself catching so much as a common cold. Germophobia is a marketing bonanza, just like many make-believe holidays and lying infomercials that seem too good to be true.