Student letter brings up bias in speaker’s words
Look Out! Guest speaker Justin Lookadoo's lively presentation got students talking about gender roles.
Letter to the Editor
By Matthew Joyner
As a member of the Grand Blanc Community, and High School student I have always found that the speakers that present their oratory to Grand Blanc High School students are usually very impressive. Mr. Lookadoo was an exception to this trend. The level of sentiment afterwards was the equivalent to knowing that something is wrong with a close friend, despite denial. Something did not feel right, and it felt as though something was very wrong about the whole situation. Some people, I found, were filled with rage, some people felt caught or even trapped, and some people really enjoyed the speech overall. It would be naïve to deny that people were not shocked by what Mr. Lookadoo had to say. But first, let me clarify my feelings on the event. I am not entirely pleased with his message. Mr. Lookadoo’s strong use of generalizations and stereotypes did not demonstrate an ability to relate to such a diverse group of individuals like Grand Blanc’s close to three-thousand students; in combination with polarizing dialogue, he portrayed members of both sexes in a negative light.
My initial thoughts when I walked into the Gymnasium were: This will be interesting, relationship building, and importance of teamwork in a relationship, chivalry, and self-confidence, amongst others. I expected that the pep talk would be something to boost girls’ confidence in asking guys to the Sadie’s Hawkins Dance, or even long-term impact of guys being able to approach High School girls. Whatever I happened to have been thinking at the time, nothing could have prepared me for the sex talk I was about to receive from a complete stranger. But I noticed as the speech moved further and further through his hour time slot. The mood of the crowd seemed to change; I felt an awkward tension between myself and the individuals sitting next to me as though I had committed some treacherous betrayal. The conversation turned from a simple chat about relationships to more of a condescending lecture about how teenage boys have wronged girls, and how girls are day-dreamers. As I mentioned the use of generalizations continued to offend many of the students in the crowd. He called out many guys for wrongdoings, but his failure to preface his comments by stating that it was a generalization became an embarrassment for Mr. Lookadoo, and showed him to be “painting the world with one wide brush”. His appalling comments regarding women driving, and his rant about the level of naivety that high school girls have in relationships was disgraceful at best. In my study of Mr. Lookadoo’s profile and accolades, I discovered some interesting truths. He says he has five plus years experience as a probation officer. Don’t you think this helps characterize his view of adolescent males!? When the only people you are dealing with are juvenile delinquents it’s clear to see why he views every boy as a problem. As the great Abraham Maslow once said, “If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.” Clearly Mr. Lookadoo views every high school male as a nail, if his view of the world is that narrow, clearly he needs to get out a little more and see that not all guys are bad.
Think you’re the only one who’s disappointed in Mr. Lookadoo’s presentation? In my investigation of his book, “Dateable: Are You? Are They?” many of the reviews showed me that other people who listened to Lookadoo’s presentation and read his book were stirred by what he had to say. Most of the reviews talked about how much of what he had to say were broad generalizations, and how disappointed they were that he encouraged the idea that all high school relationships were short-term. “The book teaches that EVERY girl is a pushover, and EVERY boy is demanding sex.” In the same review it says, “This book focuses WAY too much of negative aspects of dating” Clearly, my level of thinking was not varied in comparison to many of the people who reviewed his book.
I’m rather disappointed that Grand Blanc decided to bring in a speaker who has little insight as to how real life works. Like I said, he views every problem as a nail, and that hammer comes from his time as a probation officer. His derogatory remark on how guys “operate” was disgusting, how he portrayed men as chauvinist pigs, and how he said that all girls do is day dream. I personally thought that it was unfortunate that Grand Blanc students had to listen to the gender bias that Mr. Lookadoo inhabits. In the future, I would hope that Grand Blanc High School would choose speakers that embody character education traits that are included as part of our curriculum.
i personally loved him, he was honest. Grand Blanc is not that diverse. i mean c’mon any guy that cant own up to what he said is a, well for lack of a better word, stupid.
Most guys at grand blanc are like that. so what, why cant guys accept the fact that they’ve been called out on all thier b.s.
Matt,
Very well put and i couldn’t agree more! many of these exact same thoughts have been in my head as well. I’m glad someone such as yourself took the time to organize these thoughts so that everyone can see, as i believe it to be, the truth about the “man behind the curtain.”
Matt,
Very well done! I could not agree more with you on a subject. Over the past week I have had many of the EXACT same thoughts going through my head. I am glad that you have taken the time to organize these thoughts for everyone to see. Let everyone be able to read this and have their own opinions, but I think this truly shows the true nature of Mr. Lookadoo, the “man behind the curtain.”
Well said, Matt!
I thought that Mr. Lookado’s speech was simply a waist of my time and tax payer’s money. Those speakers don’t come cheap and I thought Lookado was a terrible purchase. He said that every girl compromises her intelligence to impress guys. I actually compete with my boyfriend for a better physics grade and we have intelligent discussions about our differing political views. One comment that really struck me was the one about rather dating a gamer or a guy that goes on missionary trips. Well I am dating a gamer and you want to know why? Because he is the guy that treats me with the utmost respect that I deserve. That’s what matters in a relationship. Respect. And it goes both ways. Girls can be cheating, lying, sex crazed teens too unfortunely. Why are girls always being portrayed as helpless victims. There are sweet guys out there that get their heart broken by a girl. I know guys that it took them more than two days to recover and I know more than their ego was hurt. Lookado doesn’t seem to have a clue.
While you pose a very well articulated and developed argument, your article had a somewhat reverse effect on my opinion. I see how Lookadoo may have used generalizations that stirred controversy, but have you given it a thought that maybe this was his whole point? There isn’t a doubt in my mind that Lookadoo knew exactly what he was saying and exactly what effect it was going to have on us as students. He was attempting to grab our attention, and he was far more successful in that than any speaker I have seen since Jason Evert my freshman year in 2008. And while Lookadoo’s delivery was controversial, his message was admirable. His use of generalizations were meant to be used as a type of hyperbole that were used not in an accusatory fashion, but rather as an example. You discuss in your article that he made “a condescending lecture about how teenage boys have wronged girls, and how girls are day-dreamers.” I disagree, however and feel the message was more a how NOT to wrong girls and how NOT to be a day-dreamer. And while there may not be a single student who fills the descriptions Lookadoo presented perfectly, I have no doubt EVERY BOY AND GIRL AT GBHS has once thought the way he described, or acted the way he described at one point in his or her life.
I appreciated your argument, Matt, however I am disapointed in the GENERAL public for not being able to see past their own pride and take some advice from a well qualified professional with more experience than any high school student.
Is this kid sponsored by a thesaurus printing company? It’s a very superficial piece, and he tried to make it more profound by using synonyms of words that are more to the point. Doesn’t work, buddy.
Opinion is correct all around. So, I would like to point out some things from my views on his speech. Such as stereotypes. Stereotypes are around us all of the time. They have their element of truth, due to the being tested over and over in life. As an example, the place I work at tells us to profile people which is another word for read their known stereotypes. Also, the explanation you made of the tension in the gym as the speech went on was very true and I could personally feel it. Though if you did not see, with every stereotype made there was talk about it or even clapping. As an example, when Lookadoo said he used the same pick up line on his wife as the girlfriends before him there was a student that stood up and clapped for him while at the same time others did. Though, I have personally not read his book, nor do I really want to, his speech did not touch me enough to change anything in my life. However, I agree with the overall reason he possibly came to our school, which seems to be to cut down on teenage pregnancy. Polls from 2005-2007 have been popping up on recent news reports on many levels of rising teen pregnancy. The speech was to try and turn those around. Just keep that in mind when remembering his speech.
This is very well put, however, you failed to mention his biased view as far as religion goes. In a high school as diverse as Grand Blanc, administrators should have checked his background to see that he is obviously a Christian. He views on relationships are skewed because of this fact. For example, anyone who has read Mr. Lookadoo’s “Dateable Rules” knows that rule #9 states that “God made guys as leaders. Dateable girls get that and let him do guy things, get a door, open a ketchup bottle. They relax and let guys be guys. Which means they don’t ask him out!!!” Is this really the message we want to send to girls about independence and confidence? I find it sad that even in the generation that we live in, individuals still demote women.
Justin Lookadoo is an entertainer. What he said at our high school is nothing less stereotypical than what you would hear at a Russell Peters show. But our high school is not the appropriate venue for such “jokes.”
As most know, a majority of high school relationships are not meant to last. I believe that those who were responsible of bringing Mr. Lookadoo to our school pitched him as a teacher who could enlighten high school students by showing them lessons of maintaining a healthy relationship. I, for one, did not learn anything that I already did not know. Also, I feel that nothing was said about maintaining a healthy relationship. By telling female students to take back control of their relationships is contradictory to the simple foundation of a relationship: equality. I am not a feminist, but I am a part our this current generation. Again, it is sad to see that women must still struggle with their place in society.
Dude, I agree with your article completely. I’m sixteen, I’m a boy, and I just now got my first girlfriend, and let me tell you, the last thing I want is sex! Just holding her hand makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time, and I did not appreciate the fact that Mr. Lookadoo’s interpretation of how teenagers are theoretically incapable of real human feelings of love. He makes it sound like all guys are brainless, sex-obsessed, testosterone-driven maniacs, when truly, I know that I love my girlfriend with all of my heart, and Mr. Lookadoo doesn’t know what he’s talking about. There are kids like that, but let me assure all of you that I have no friends like that at all, and over 99% of my friends are, and will remain virgins like myself. Mr. Lookadoo knows nothing of the kinds of pain and humiliation, and anger, and hatred that I feel, and how my relationship truly helps to mend all of the lacerations that my father made in my life. Mr. Lookadoo is married, but I have to wonder if he himself is not the “pig” in the relationship, and dominates all areas of business and pleasure with the average Puritanical ways of thinking of male dominance. He is both a hypocrite, and uneducated in the fields in which he is trying to make us teenagers aware of. Thank you for publishing this article, and I’m going to help make sure I never have to see him in my school, or any other school near mine ever again!
Ok WAIT! You thought he was going to maotivate girls into asking guys to a dance, or motivate guys into asking girls out?!?!?!? HE’S A CHRISTAIN! And as a christian he is going to try to motivate you into living a life that honors God, and premarrital sex definately dihonors God, so he is going to try to dicourage you from doing that. And yeah not every guy fits into the stereotype, but eery guy is tempted to fit into the stereotype, and a lot of them fall for it. And a lot of girls daydream about having the fairytale relationship, but guess what? IT’S NOT POSSIBLE TO HAVE ONE! I personally LOVE Justin Lookadoo. He is funny, and he tells you like it is.
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